Mascara
by Umi-chii
Summary: It was meant to be a simple masquerade party... if only Deep Snow didn't think of slicing his boss into pieces and Haru thinking opening his fly will cure said blonde of paranoia. And commercial breaks have never been this evil. [Complete insanity, PWP]


**Disclaimer:** Umi-chii don't own Rave. Mashima-sensei still does. Umi-chii don't own Usamimi Kamen either. He belongs to... Sanrio?  
Warning: May contain yaoi. Oh heck, it does. Come on, ye guys know what kind of genre I write! D8  
**A/N:** This one was first left unfinished. I only typed the first part. And with just that, it was left untouched in my computer for months, until last night when I opened it and continued it. I also continued it from there up to before the pr0n starts. XD Coz I was brain tired then. Couldn't think of anything anymore, if ye would notice, the fic ends in a way that is just too weird and.. well, humorous to me. XD So people, please enjoy this fic as much as I enjoy it. And dude, this one broke my record. This fic is also the first thing to face the Umi-chii Essaying Style. o.O;;

* * *

**Mascara**

When Haru first received the invitation, he thought it was another one of Lucia's sly ways to get him. But when he read the name of the host, he was taken aback. He knew his history, and he knew the guy is currently broke. It just didn't make any sense. In the end, Haru concluded that indeed, Lucia was up to something. Who else in the world would come up with a masquerade ball anyway?

'No one else but Lucia._ L.U.C.I.A_.'

Fingers twitching while holding the paper, he reread _everything_ written in the card. It smells heavily of cinnamon, and Haru knows no one but Lucia—_again—_obsessed with a freaking seasoning and use it every time he gets to use it.

'Yes. No one else but Lucia_. L.U.C.I.A_.'

He released the card and let it land on the coffee table. He looked at his left to check on Plue sucking his lollipop again, when something pop up into his mind.

Plue, who was busy sucking his lollipop, blinked and looked at his master. Indeed, he can feel the sudden dark air filling the entire house. It's telling him to leave the house at once if he didn't want to be a reindeer with a blue nose. And so, Plue began to prepare to leave his perch on the edge of the table—that is, until Haru decided to literally turn the table, sending him flying straight out of the closed window.

"Pun!"

Hair whipping an arc in the hair, Haru shrieked at the flying dog who he had unknowingly sent flying out of the house, smashing the window into bits. _'Ow… damn…' _He groaned, sight of the dog nowhere. Must've flew straight into the forest. _'He's a Rave Bearer. He'll survive the rabbits.' _And so, Haru left Plue to fend off rabid bunnies by himself.

That night, Haru left the poor shivering white dog outside his house to the whims of very _evil_ rabbits. Not even bothering to fix the broken window, he grabbed his tuxedo complete with mask, cape, top hat and cane that reminds everyone of Usamimi Kamen in a suit, leaving for the grand masquerade ball of his dearest _friend_.

* * *

Deep Snow hums a soft little merry tune that he had picked up from the radio this early morning, while donning on a pair of white pants and his normally tall hat. Fixing the hat to make it look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, he took a rose from the dressing room's table and made way to leave for the ball.

"Someone's in a good mood." He said when he arrived at the lobby of the Leagrovian manor and saw the young blond host smirking. Striding towards the boy, Deep Snow allowed himself to look and be mesmerized by the wondrous decorations the blond paid extra attention to. He could still remember the young boy fussing over the wrong shade of gold used in that certain curtain beside the grand door.

The blond didn't glance at his general but continued to fix his mask, which was covered with glitters and a couple of feathers. When he was finally able to tame one straw feather, he then answered the general's words.

"It's not everyday I don't have anyone chasing me, do I?" He murmured, eyes narrowing to regard Deep Snow in that inquisitive way. "And what is with you questioning me and my every action?"

Deep Snow simply coughed a little to excuse himself. Putting most of his weight in his heels, the general avoided the blond's gaze and instead found great interest in that certain yellow curtain. Trying to change the topic, Deep Snow spoke about the Rave Master, if his boss's counterpart will be coming or not. He soon regretted his choice of subject, when Lucia's smirk just widens and chuckled at himself. Somehow, the general surprised himself, on why he's the person considered least afraid of the blonde boy's whimsical thinking.

* * *

Eyes widening at the sight of the huge manor, Haru felt his jaw went numb. It had slacken off its hinges as golden and white lights at the same time emitted out of the entire manor, creating shadows all over the garden. Stepping through the stoned pathway, Haru wears his mask, carefully sliding it to fit properly. He also fixed his cape to the side, so it won't get caught on anything spinning when he saw that huge high velocity fan keeping the visitors cool just outside the manor's entrance door.

Flicking the invitation card at the guard, he let himself enter the lobby, and concluded that the outside view of the manor did no justice for the inside. Again, I thought Lucia's broke, is what went through Haru's mind.

Then he saw it. It was unmistakably his blonde friend walking quickly through the hordes of elegant people. It piqued Haru's curiosity on why the blonde is in such a hurry, so he did what everyone would think of; he chased the blonde.

He ran and ran, eyes not daring to leave the blonde's back until finally, after running through thousands of twisting hallways and all the corners he had taken, Haru realized it by now that he has, indeed, been lured into a trap. He only realized this when he saw Deep Snow standing outside a double-doored room where the blonde had locked himself in, knocking its oaken wood. The aqua-haired general didn't even hear the boy entering the room, nor made motions to bother.

Haru just blinked at the scene and thought of what to do. Should he leave and forget about the blond or test his luck with the previously opium-obsessed general?

Haru coughed to gain some attention but the white-clad back is still facing him. Coughing louder, the knocking slowed down a bit, before the general finally turn around to reveal his scowling face.

"I take it things aren't going so well?" Haru meekly asked when the general just snapped whatever he's holding in his hand. He could almost feel the seething noise he's making, but Haru tried his very best to assume the Demon Card general is just trying to 'exercise' his jaw muscles.

"You," Deep Snow began, putting great emphasis on every word. "This is all your fault."

Haru just blinked at him and comically tilted his head to the side, silently asking what his crime is. The gesture though only made the general angrier before finally, the Leaning Tower of Pisa hat Deep Snow's holding--it took Haru several minutes to realize it's actually a _hat_--bend. Not break nor snap. _Bend_.

But Deep Snow only twitched an eyebrow before finally, he let out an exasperated growl and left the room altogether, throwing his ridiculously tall hat at an innocent fern pot. It suits the fern though, in Haru's honest opinion. Anyways, Haru goes back to staring at the door, contemplating very hard on whether or not it's safe for his health and innocence to enter the room. Will the blond pounce on him the moment he enters the room and have his way with him or what? Oh greck, is the blond actually still inside?! All certain possibilities entered Haru's head that it sent him to the edge. So, after a couple of seconds that seems like hours, it took him a little meek voice in the back of his head to tell him that if he doesn't want to end up like Deep Snow and his hat, he has to stop thinking like a madman and just get on with it. He's the freaking Rave Master, for crying out loud. He can protect himself from a hormonal teenager suffering delusional dreams, right?

'Now if only I have my sword... or at least Plue. Every mascot makes a hero look better.' Grumbling slightly, Haru nodded to himself and sets out to embrace the insaner side of him, and that is the side of him that likes opening unknown doors that leads to unknown places that could mean either death or harassment to him.

Oh dear. If only Haru knows what kind of trouble he's putting himself in.

* * *

Lucia yawned loudly and ignored all the stares and gapes directed at him. He's the king of the world's meanest organization. What do you expect, Lucia thought somberly. Checking the huge grandfather clock--he also took a mental note to ask his grandfather why everything he owns is so big--far off in the other side of the huge hall, and winced slightly when he saw a spark coming out from one of the numbers. He quickly looked away and pretended that no god up above is angry at him.

In the meantime, Deep Snow rushed at the blond from the other side of the hall (too), fuming and ready to slap the brat until his head snap.

"You! What is the matter with you!?"

Now, honestly speaking, Lucia is a very good yet not so good boy. He swears, he bangs anyone looking pretty with two legs and an ass, he snaps some head, but no matter how gross or evil these deeds are, there is one thing that Lucia does that no other bad guys do. It is one trait that he got from his father and grandfather; he can't and doesn't lie--oh pfush, that fiasco with Shuda and bets doesn't count! So when Lucia got his face jabbed by a pointy finger, he hissed and sneered at the offending finger before glaring up at Deep Snow. He spared a snicker though when he saw that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is missing, revealing what was hidden under those ridiculous hats the general always wear.

"Maybe I should be the one who's asking you that." The blond said, snickering in between, making everything worse. Next thing he knew, he was sprawled on the floor with a scythe and an angry general hovering over him. The shadow and gleaming evil eyes did little effect, sadly.

Shaking his head slightly, Lucia held it with a little 'ow'... and winced again when he lifted his head up to see a shiny scythe. This is just too much, he thought with grimace, and did what no other bad guys had done, and this time, it's just him doing it. No other bad guys are better in this than him.

He quickly turned tail and dashed away from his shrieking banshee-general. And according to the Nightly Evil Tribune, more than twenty people, all bad and good, are injured during some sort of one-man massacre in the masquerade ball of the Leagrovian prince.

Fortunately enough, no head goes off rolling down the stairs and onto the huge hall, so there's no high pitched girly screaming or gay gasps; in short, no one is dead.

But there is one though, who went off hiding...

* * *

It has been some time of the day already since Haru felt his own cheek twitch upward. You see, it's all because the room he had gotten himself into that Haru decided this entire stupidity is just plain too much. His twitchy cheek is an understatement, too! He growled and closed the door, not caring if it's soft or not. Now, it's all the moonlight from the open verandas that's left inside the room. And of course, his blond _friend _who's clinging to his very, very, very delicate hips. He wouldn't have mind if the blond had clung onto them because he wants to grope him, but clinging onto him out of comfort--and oh greck, the blonde is _whimpering_!-- is again, just far too much. It's too beyond anything considered ridiculous, Deep Snow's hats included.

He tugged a couple thick strands of golden hair. When it didn't work, he grabbed a fistful of hair and yank them away from him, though it did get Lucia's face away from his thigh--he was so sure the blond was just feigning innocence--, a second later it was stuck onto his self again.

Haru scratched the back of his neck until finally, the right idea hit him. Taking off his cape and mask altogether and ignored the sudden perkiness coming from the blonde clung onto him, Haru grabbed his belt and moved his hands to get rid of it... along with the fly. Now _this_ is what sent Lucia off-circuit and far off into the other side of the room, shaking with... fear...

Oh greck. Haru thought and hung his own head down. This... is going to be a long night.

* * *

I hereby interrupt this program, to tell you that no, your eyes are not playing a trick on you. Though I know everyone reading this story is all for the pr0n, like SOMEONE over there... no, this commercial break is INDEED a part of the story.

Everyone has bad hair days. Others have them nearly everyday, and the unlucky ones just have them like a disease. Now, there's a certain someone in Rave who has them like a plague... and anyone who gets near him suffered a bad hair day.

Yes, people. I'm speaking about no one else but the well known, oh-so-popular general of Demon Card, Deep Snow. As you can see, this little blue furball has been suffering bad hair days since he was a wee little child. It's not some mistake brought about by wrong experimentation by that weird little creepy scientist we saw who got tubes somewhere in his head. It's just that Deep Snow ain't a lucky guy, so don't fuss.

Anyways, this commercial break is here to tell you that YES. The Leaning Tower of Pisa hat is on sale! Standing on a titled height of 27 inches, decorated by professional squirrels, it is a very rare item. Never been on sale in the Leaning Tower of Pisa Souvenir shop in Italy, it is now offered to you all! Just call 1-800-LAMP, and you get 25 discount for anyone who calls first in every minute!

But wait! There's more!

By ordering it through the shop and not the phone, you get the exclusive ultra rare Jin Tower hat! So what're you waiting for? Get them now!

The fic shall commence after 10 minutes, thank you. As for now, it'll go into its usual static mode.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

**TBC.**


End file.
